The Mayo Conspiracy


Written & directed by Anthony J. Vollmer & Craig Horwitz

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Death of a Hamburger Bun

Have you noticed an alarming trend in America's casual restaurants and diners? If you have not been a victim yet, I bet you at least  know people who have gone through this extremely  traumatic event. Let me lay it down for ya: You order a burger and it comes back on a Kaiser roll !  Hello, I did not order a deli sandwich; I ordered a freakin  burger! And the whole  reason why they call it a “hamburger roll” is due to the fact that it's the appropriate soft shelter for your beef patty. You see, any foodie knows that hamburger rolls have “shmush factor” allowing you to easily fit everything into your mouth no matter how thick the meat or how high the toppings.

At the rate we're going, experts predict that hamburger rolls could become extinct in 5 to 7 years! (excluding fast food joints which this blog does not endorse anyway) So what can you do about this important issue? I say, it’s best to always be pro-active. Before ever ordering a burger, ask the establishment if they put it on a hamburger roll. You will find that question will make them feel really stupid if it’s not the case.  And even if their “go-to” bread is the hard, crusty Kaiser roll, there have been times where I have been accommodated with hamburger rolls, which were on-hand upon request. Remember this important life lesson:  It can never hurt to ask and it is dangerous to assume! And if they absolutely refuse to serve a hamburger on a hamburger roll, in the name if common decency, order something else and do not give that shady establishment your business anymore!

Let our community know if you have witnessed any  hamburger roll discrimination in your neighborhood !

Happy eating,

Craig 

 

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