The Mayo Conspiracy


Written & directed by Anthony J. Vollmer & Craig Horwitz

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Holdthatmayo.com endorses Hillary Clinton

Food preferences are strong clues to personality. Just look at the cliche “you are what you eat.” So surprisingly, the major media outlets have really dropped the ball on this issue, with respect to the 2008 presidential campaign.  Therefore I have extensively researched clues to the candidates' eating habits from various web sites and blog postings, to help determine which candidate should earn our endorsement.  I could not find any anti-mayo views in the McCain camp. This was not surprising. He has fully endorsed and wants to continue the Bush administration's policies in Iraq. Clearly he is a warmonger. Warmongers do not value human life, thus warmongers will not think twice about eating or even endorsing for that matter, some slimy, vile, artery clogging substance like mayo. However on the democrat side of things, I was really surprised to not find any record of Barack Obama speaking out on this issue. Here's why. Did you ever see the very under-rated Undercover Brother ? For those who missed that flick, Undercover Brother (played brilliantly by Eddie Griffin) is recruited by the group of Good Guys, know as the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D. an all-black justice league to foil the Man's plan to derail a Colin Powell-like presidential candidate. There is an infamous quote from this movie : ” if you're going to fit in to white America, you're gonna have to learn to like MAYONNAISE! ” Yup, that was a theme and I  think it might have marked the first time anyone ever went “racial” with mayo, ha ha. Anyway, if this alleged racial stereotype plays out at all in our presidential election, then Obama should be the one speaking out against mayo. But after an exhaustive search, I found nada. Turns out that Hillary Clinton is the closest thing to a candidate going “on the record.”  It was more for health reasons but we'll still take it.  

Happy Eating,

Craig

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