The Mayo Conspiracy


Written & directed by Anthony J. Vollmer & Craig Horwitz

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Full cast

HoldThatMayo Apparel

Intestinal Bombs

Like most anti-mayites out there, you probably indulge in the majority of oil-based salad dressings. (as our overall dressing choices are limited in life) And like myself , you may even enjoy an occasional hard boiled egg. It is really ignorant when someone tries to “call out” a mayonnaise hater on eating those two things separately, merely on the basis that combining them begins the horrid mayonation process. Completely irrelevant! If you were ever put in that ridiculous situation , please do not get defensive or resort to violence. You just need to refer your misinformed food critic to Die Hard:With a Vengeance. Are you familiar with that movie? If so, then you might remember there is a plot to blow up schools and when they discover the chemicals behind the bomb, the “explosives expert” gives a little lesson to the police squad . He puts a drop of this red liquid on a desk and nothing happens. Then he does the same with some blue liquid and again, nothing.. But when he combines one drop of red and blue together, BOOM, a little mini-explosion goes off. The fact of the matter is that an egg or any type of oil for that matter, is completely harmless if consumed separately. But mix the two together and suddenly , you are stirring up trouble, becoming the pilot behind a vicious air assault. You see, for all intensive purposes (as well as intestine purposes) mayo eaters are war mongers

Happy eating,

Craig

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