We have exciting news. The Mayo Conspiracy is now available to view on Amazon, providing instant access to the over 80 million Amazon Prime subscribers as well! Reaction from Big Mayo has been swift, sounding very much like condimentalists in a full state of panic and denial. For example, take a look at this quote from I.B. White, the Mayonnaise Lord who’s been running the cartel since the 1980’s: “Any evidence connecting are product to the Nazi party in the 1930’s or the KGB in the 1950’s is circumstantial at best.” Well, anyone who has seen The Mayo Conspiracy, knows that’s a bold faced lie. As a quick example, the Russian Dressing scandal we detail in our film, connects the cartel directly to the old Soviet Union at the height of the cold war, undoubtedly making mayonnaise the most unpatriotic condiment in American history.
With over 100 million sandwiches eaten a day in the U.S. alone, Big Mayo is willing to kill over being the spread applied to that bread. I mean kill, literally, as regimes have been overthrown for standing in their way. Condimental dissidents have been mayo-boarded for standing in their way. And don’t get me started about how Big Mayo has been fully behind the defunding of both health care and school lunch reforms that originated from an Obama administration, hell bent on tackling our obesity epidemic. These initiatives were saving lives! Ultimately, when the smoke clears, people will learn that big money is the reason why Big Mayo never even hesitated to sell its soul to an entity, residing much much lower than France! Blaming the French for this white goo was merely a cover story. It goes much deeper. The truth is much uglier. The white emulsion is made of 100% pure evil. And now, millions more will be in the know, leaving the mayonnaise cartel with lots of egg on their faces.
A recent article in Popular Science put the GMA (Global Mayo Aversion) at 20%. That’s up a whole 5 points since the release of our film, The Mayo Conspiracy! Even more good news: Mayo has been scoring extremely high in the disgust department among millennials, leading the recent decline in mayonnaise sales. Bottom line, the mayo resistance is growing exponentially, and now more than ever, we aren’t afraid to speak out against the tyranny of Big Mayo! So in regards to people speaking out, let’s take a look at some of the celebrities who have been championing our cause.
Here’s a video clip of Jimmy Fallon dissing mayonnaise. (spoiler alert: it reminds him of pus) Of all these celebrities, Jimmy has been the most public about his disgust and thus, is a hero to our community. In addition to the short clip, there’s even more video out there, as well as written pieces, documenting Jimmy’s feelings about this non-consensual emulsion.
Television personality, businesswoman, celebrity chef, and author, Rachael Ray, has frequently gone public about her dislike of mayonnaise. She even promotes a “no mayo” potato salad as well as a cole slaw, clear of any type of emulsifying infection, by focusing on those classic mayonnaise substitutes.
While trolling twitter for mayonnaise posts, I was pleasantly surprised to come across this tweet from Rihanna. She was replying to some pervert who suggested she should put mayonnaise on spaghetti. Yuk! Notice how HATE is in all caps. And this tweeting trail confirms that political commentator and author, David Frum, has it out for the gooey emulsion as well.
Syndicated radio show host, Danielle Monaro, talks freely about her fear and hatred of mayonnaise on the Elvis Duran show. So much so, that during a segment where the show was making a formal donation to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, Elvis Duran offered to up the ante by 5k, if Danielle would eat a spoonful of mayo. She miraculously pulled it off without hurling (there is video evidence) and instantly became even more of a hero to our anti-mayo community, for we understand the sacrifice she made for those kids better than anyone else. Here is the clip, proving she is indeed a very brave woman.(the mayo part starts around 3 minutes in)
I am Jewish and thus, I can tell you our people have a long and storied tradition of being offended by the mere concept of mayonnaise, especially on the signature sandwiches that you find inside the top Jewish Deli’s. In fact what you could easily call a “celebrity deli” referenced in music and film, none other than the Katz Deli, gives the middle finger to mayonnaise right on their menu. (for those ballsy enough to disgrace their patented Pastrami) You will find the warning “Ask for Mayo at your own peril” next to the Katz Pastrami description.
Just like the subtext of many classic Woody Allen films with Jewish themes (looking at Annie Hall uncomprehendingly after she orders bologna on white bread with mayo) you can also spot it in Curb Your Enthusiasm. (like when Larry David chastises a friend for lathering mayo on the bread of a tuna fish sandwich when the stuff is already in the tuna!) So no surprise when I found a clip from the John Oliver show, cementing Larry David’s hate. John Oliver did this montage of people on the street saying what they hated most about 2016 and then out of the blue, Larry David comes in to say this. By the way, speaking of the John Oliver show, one of their emmy-winning writers, Jill Twiss, is a hard-core mayo hater. She says it proudly on her twitter bio so of course I follow her.: Plus, she is one of the funniest people on twitter!
Okay here is the big one. Lots of references in print to President Obama’s hatred of mayonnaise, including the NY Times, Food and Wine and this Business Insider profile of Reggie Love, Obama’s body man during the 2008 campaign. Reggie is significant because he was the guy ordering Obama’s sandwiches during that historic first campaign. President Obama is the only one on this list that does not have a firsthand quote. However, he is no longer President and I strongly believe he is dying to throw Big Mayo under the bus for it’s the stuff that tormented him during his formative years in Hawaii. You see, Hawaiian cuisine is so full of mayo, you really have to watch your step. (we show in The Mayo Conspiracy how they even sneak it into the chili) Let’s not forget, that Presdient Obama identifies himself as African American and just like in the Jewish tradition, mayonnaise is their mortal enemy, documented brilliantly in the film, Undercover Brother
So this is just a very small sampling of the brave celebrities, not afraid to speak out against the mayo tyranny. There are plenty more out there, especially since we now know, based on last year’s Popular Science article, it is as high as 20% of the population. So in theory, that is 1 in 5 celebrities. By the way, I always suspected the screenwriter from the film, The Whole 9 Yards, is a rabid mayo hater based on this fun rant by Bruce Willis.
President Obama’s campaign bus in 08, signifying Hope, Change, and the condiment he absolutely despises!
As we begin spring, I am feeling a bit nostalgic about the very spring-like campaign theme, “Hope and Change”, which was in full swing around this time, back in 2008. Yes, our first known mayo-hating President, took both the political and culinary world by storm. Back then, Barack Obama would have his Presidential Aide, Reggie Love, by his side, the guy procuring all his sandwiches during those long travels around the country. But more importantly, on that same bus, those two men were not just breaking bread together, but were also plotting a war against an evil food cartel. And trust me, war is what Big Mayo got.
Some of the most important initiatives that came from the early years of the Obama White House, specifically targeted this calorie dense, fat laden condiment. First, you of course have the Affordable Care Act, which is a complex health reform bill, creating much more transparency about harmful food than most people ever realized. From the mandatory menu labeling of calories in certain size restaurants, to giving the poor access to medical care where their diet, and let’s remember, this is a type of diet heavily skewed towards mayonnaise, can finally get scrutinized by a doctor. Plus, you have this theme of “prevention” that’s prevalent in many components of the law. For example, did you know that Obamacare forces insurance companies to cover nutrition and obesity screenings? When the Mayonnaise Cartel found out, they of course felt extremely threatened. But that wasn’t even the half of it. You see, First Lady, Michelle Obama, followed things up with her overhaul of school lunch programs which targeted of all things, wait for it…….mayonnaise. Talk about a powerful 1-2 punch by the Obamas as they were now targeting the cartel’s “hook’em while their young” marketing strategy. (It’s no coincidence that back in the early 70’s, the Big Mac was first introduced by of all things, a clown, trying to justify the soiling of a hamburger with mayonnaise, or excuse me, let’s call it by their secret code word, “special sauce.” ) Anyway, I can’t tell you the shock waves these Obama initiatives sent through the corridors of Big Mayo. With billions of dollars at the cartel’s disposal to fight back, it should be no surprise as to why these laws got demonized during the Obama presidency and are now on the chopping block under a new regime. This is just a taste of what gets exposed in our film, The Mayo Conspiracy, the ultimate satire on the Culinary Industrial Complex. And although we have won several “Best Comedy” awards on the film festival circuit, our movie is taking on some very topical issues along the way, most notably the influence of outside money in politics, health care reform and even torture. (as we uncover the heinous practice of mayo-boarding)
But there is even more to the story than the politics of mayonnaise mentioned above. There is the cartel’s sordid history. And I am talking about the type of history that gets omitted from textbooks. Starting in the 1930’s, Big Mayo started sneaking their polarizing product deep into the American food system, but afterwards, even went on to develop ties with Nazi’s during World War II, as well as the Russians in the 50’s. (during the height of the cold war) Again, it’s no coincidence those same two groups have ties to the all-white, pro-mayo Trump administration, looking to tear apart all of the Obama initiatives dealing with healthier food and nutrition.
The Mayo Conspiracy has finished up its festival run and we are planning for a release this summer on Amazon as well as Amazon Prime! To best stay updated on our progress, please follow us on facebook or twitter. Now more than ever, during these uncertain times, it’s important for us to spread the word about how this nasty emulsion is destroying the fabric and the food of America!
Just about everyone agrees that 2016 was a brutal year for taking away our entertainment icons. Hit particularly hard was the music industry as we had to say goodbye to David Bowie, Glenn Frey, Maurice White, (founder of Earth Wind & Fire) Keith Emerson, Prince (as well as his protege Vanity) and most recently, George Michael. Many of these names were just way too young to leave us. Then, shifting over to actors, we need to add Gary Shandling, George Kennedy, Alan Rickman (aka Hans Gruber) Abe Vigoda, Mrs. Brady and of course Princess Carrie Fisher to this very upsetting list. And last but most certainly not least, sports and cultural hero, Muhammad Ali. Many of these people we grew up with so losing them feels like losing pieces of our childhood. This year, we also were hit with one of the darkest, and most stressful Presidential election campaigns ever, regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum. It’s really safe to say that 2016 left a sour taste in all our collective mouths. (much like biting into a sandwich, unexpectedly smothered in mayo) But nobody out there was able to sum up the year better than Larry David, who with poise, grace , and just merely 5 words, pretty much nailed it on the John Oliver show:
On a more positive note, the last few months of 2016 gave way to more cracks in the armor of Big Mayo! (and these were big ones.) The Mayo Conspiracy received two great reviews, shining more light on the unspeakable crimes committed by the mayonnaise industry since they infiltrated America’s food supply back in the 1930’s. One is from the entertainment site, The Knockturnal and the second came from OneFilmFan. And adding to our two previous comedy wins in the festival circuit, The Mayo Conspiracy took home the Best Director award at the Pocono Mountains Film Festival.
As we wind down our tour in the festival circuit, we are currently working to make The Mayo Conspiracy available to the world via Video On Demand in 2017. More updates about which platforms will hopefully be announced by early next year. We also are excited to start filming our followup project Fear There & Everywhere, after we acquire funding. The screenplay was already named a finalized in the Box in the Box Film Competition!
All of us at HoldThatMayo would like to wish our readers a happy, healthy and most certainly a mayo-free New Year!
Our indie film that satirizes the dangerous impact a food cartel can have on the health and politics of America, took home the Best Comedy Award at the Buffalo Niagara Film Festival! This is our second comedy award in the festival circuit. Congrats to the entire cast and crew of The Mayo Conspiracy as well as to all the other winners in Niagara Falls. With so many great films being programmed at BNFF, we really enjoyed our five days of watching movies, attending industry panels and networking with our fellow filmmakers. But most importantly, Big Mayo has now been exposed to Western New York!
Directly below is a slide show of our cast, crew, festival organizers and industry guests at BNFF.
The Mayo Conspiracy has been accepted into the most prestigious film festival in upstate New York, the BNFF which takes place in NIAGARA FALLS: Slowly I turn, step by step , inch by inch to the Tonawanda Castle on Friday, April 15th at 6:00 PM. All the good residents and tourists of the Buffalo and Niagara Falls area can now watch the epic, cinematic take-down of the most evil cartel in the world: BIG MAYO! Advance tickets can be purchased online and for those of you who like a good spirit and a snack with your movie, there will be a full bar with sponsored beers, wines, and food open 24/7 during all BNFF festival activities and events.
Among some of the special guests and presenters for this years festival will be Actor Stephen Lang (Avatar, Conan, Tombstone), Actress Camren Bicondova (Catwoman on Gotham TV Series), Actor Chad Michael Murray (Agent Carter, One Tree Hill, Left Behind), Timothy Payne (a local double amputee Army Airborne soldier and recipient of Lifetime Achievement Award from President Obama), Larry Bishop (writer, director, actor and son of Joey Bishop from The Rat Pack and friend of Quentin Tarantino’s and the BNFF.) Some of Larry’s films include Underworld, Kill Bill 2, Mad Dog Time, & Hell Ride.
Co-directors of The Mayo Conspiracy, Craig Horwitz and Anthony Vollmer, were named November Featured Filmmakers at the Princeton Independent Film Festival. Included on their website now is our fun interview with Festival Director, Sara McDermott Jain. It was also an opportunity to promote our next project, FEAR, There & Everywhere, which is currently in writing mode.
The month of November also brought us our Los Angeles premiere screening of The Mayo Conspiracy. For even more updates on the progress of our film, consider giving a like on The Mayo Conspiracy facebook page, if you have not yet done so. We’re quickly closing in on our goal of 2000 likes and every “like” is the equivalent of putting another dagger into Big Mayo.
This past Saturday, The Mayo Conspiracy had its California Premiere at The World’s Independent Film Festival. We had a great screening with cast members in attendance, flying all the way out from Philadelphia. On the night before, at the kickoff party, we won Best Comedy Feature at the festival!
Below is a slideshow from the red carpet awards ceremony:
The date of our San Francisco screening at TWIFF 2015 has been set for Saturday, September 26th at 3:25 pm. For those living in or around the “City by the Bay”, we hope to see you at the New People Cinema for the west coast premiere of The Mayo Conspiracy! We are honored to be part of an event that showcases independent films from all over the world!
We have exciting news. The Mayo Conspiracy is now available to view on Amazon, providing instant access to the over 80 million Amazon Prime subscribers as well! Reaction from Big Mayo has been swift, sounding very much like condimentalists in a full state of panic and denial. For example, take a look at this quote from I.B. White, the Mayonnaise Lord who’s been running the cartel since the 1980’s: “Any evidence connecting are product to the Nazi party in the 1930’s or the KGB in the 1950’s is circumstantial at best.” Well, anyone who has seen The Mayo Conspiracy, knows that’s a bold faced lie. As a quick example, the Russian Dressing scandal we detail in our film, connects the cartel directly to the old Soviet Union at the height of the cold war, undoubtedly making mayonnaise the most unpatriotic condiment in American history.
