The Mayo Mountains of Chile

According to a report in The Lancet, one of the oldest and most prestigious medical journals, cardiovascular disease is a major health problem in Chile. It represents the leading cause of death among adults in that country. Combine this with the fact that Chile’s mayo consumption is 3rd per capita in the world, and it’s clear that The Lancet is jumping on the anti-mayo bandwagon. Check out The Daily Show’s entertaining report about Chileans’ obsession with the White Poison.   Read more […]

The Black Keys Say No To The White Slime

The world famous Akron, OH rock duo, the Black Keys, refused to sell out to the evil mayonnaise industry during their early days on tour. Big Mayo was ready to throw tons of money to these musicians who were literally starving artists at the time, but they stood their ground. So at HoldThatMayo headquarters, we want to commend the Black Keys for

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Calories in Mayonnaise


Mayo has that rare combination of tasting really gross and being really bad for you. (Usually those two factors are indirectly proportional) It’s difficult to quantify bad taste since that tends to be more instinctive , at least for those who have not been brainwashed by the fear of a dry sandwich. But in terms of being unhealthy, we can take a look at the tale of the tape and abruptly end the argument. Let’s start with the #1 competitors, ketchup and mustard. One serving of standard yellow mustard, has no calories, no fat, no carbs, no cholesterol and only 55 grams of sodium. Hallelujah. In moderation, there’s really nothing wrong with ketchup as well. For example, Heinz tomato ketchup only provides 15 calories, 4 grams of

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Renowned Caterer Creates 12 days of Mayo-free Pasta Salad for the July 4th Holiday!

There is nothing more perplexing as to why soiling some cold chicken or pasta with a mayo adhesive gets to be called a salad?  Originally, a salad was only supposed to be a colorful, lite, and nutritious dance of fresh vegetables. Well, the history behind this brutal word-twisting can no doubt be attributed to Big Mayo. Their motive was to make people feel better about themselves, after consuming their white poison! By the way, for those not familiar with the term, Big Mayo, it applies to the “big three” mayonnaise corporations in the United States and United Kingdom. (i.e.  Hellmann’s, Heinz and Kraft Foods)  So it’s always inspiring when we get to report about people like Colleen Cheechalk, who is taking on Big Mayo head on. Ms. Cheechalk  is a well known private caterer in upstate NY, and President of the Eat Local Southern Tier. (a great organization  that connects food-service professionals, farm, and community together to promote eating that is good, clean and fair)  But most important, (for our purposes, anyway) is that she's the author of the cooking blog,  Last year around this time, she created the 12 days of mayo-free pasta salad to lead us into the July 4th  celebration. Although this ground-breaking piece fell under our radar at HoldThatMayo Headquarters, fortunately we caught it in time for  this year’s Independence  Day. (which thanks to Ms. Cheechalk, can also mean independence from mayonnaise for salads all across our great land)  Each of the 12 days features a creative and refreshing  recipe, completely void of mayo. She really showcases

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HoldThatMayo Gaining Momentum in Canada of all Places !

At first , I was surprised to see really start to take hold in Canada. You see, initially, I had completely written off that country. In case you are not already aware,  it's a hotbed of mayonnaise consumption up there! (most likely due to that nasty French influence) But as the hits kept pouring in from our northern neighbors, it got me thinking that Canada is a place where the  seeds of condiment  discontent can most flourish.  It's like we're taking the battle to ground zero where not even hamburgers are safe.

So with that in mind, it's time to honor the film “The Whole Nine Yards.” It takes place in the Great White North and accurately depicts the deplorable eating conditions our non-French Canadian Comrades experience.  Bruce Willis has a fantastic anti-mayo rant that will begin at the 1:10 mark on the clip to your right. It kinda puts everything into perspective.

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California Eating

In order to advertise any omelet specifically  as a “California Omelet” there needs to be an avocado inside.  (As that  fruit is synonymous with California.)  Now I know some foodies out there are questioning the “fruit” label they just read. However, even  though it tastes like a vegetable, the seeds dictate otherwise, very much like the tomato. I would actually prefer that we draw the line between fruit and vegetable by taste, not seeds,  but that is another post. So getting back on point, Californians know their avocado. So no surprise that straight out of the Golden State , comes great news  that the golden avocado can actually replace mayo in tuna and chicken salad. Anti-mayites get beat up for not partaking in these so called  lettuce-free “salads”  but no more, thanks to Michael Goran, Ph.D., professor of preventive medicine at the Keck School of Medicine of USC. He discovered that the smooth avocado texture produces the same effect, while avocados are higher in monounsaturated fatty acids (the good kind) and low in saturated fat. This means that chicken-salad lovers can  lower their cholesterol numbers and stop skeezing out all

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Obama Hates the Mayonnaise !

As soon as Barack Obama admitted to the New York Times that he hates mayo, Holdthemayites across the world began to salivate. The thought of the leader of the culinary world, Rachael Ray, and the potential leader of the free world, coming together on this issue , could mean mayo's days are seriously numbered. Suddenly, thoughts of mayo-free dining areas and tax breaks to restaurants who refuse to create a Satan Sandwich by adding any unsolicited slime do not seem so outlandish.  Looking back, it was a bit premature for this blog to endorse Hillary Clinton, but to our defense, Barrack had not yet come out of the jar.  Many thanks to Charles Memminger, for helping to publicize this story. Charles is an award winning columnist from the Honolulu Star-Bulletin who

Read more […] endorses Hillary Clinton

Food preferences are strong clues to personality. Just look at the cliche “you are what you eat.” So surprisingly, the major media outlets have really dropped the ball on this issue, with respect to the 2008 presidential campaign.  Therefore I have extensively researched clues to the candidates' eating habits from various web sites and blog postings, to help determine which candidate should earn our endorsement.  I could not find any anti-mayo views in the McCain camp. This was not surprising. He has fully endorsed and wants to continue the Bush administration's policies in Iraq. Clearly he is a warmonger. Warmongers do not value human life, thus warmongers will not think twice about eating or even endorsing for that matter, some slimy, vile, artery clogging substance like mayo. However on the democrat side of things, I was really surprised to not find any record of Barack Obama speaking out on this issue. Here's why. Did you ever see the very under-rated Undercover Brother ? For those who missed that flick, Undercover Brother (played brilliantly by Eddie Griffin) is recruited by the group of Good Guys, know as the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D. an all-black justice league to foil the Man's plan to derail a Colin Powell-like presidential candidate. There is an infamous quote from this movie : ” if you're going to fit in to white America, you're gonna have to learn to like MAYONNAISE! ” Yup, that was a theme

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McDonalds Getting Desperate

It has been over 3 years since its release and it seems like McDonalds has definitely been feeling the ill effects of the Super Size Me phenomenon. America is now more educated than ever about the toxicity of fast food so McDonalds first responded with a few semi-healthy additions to their menu. However, a little yogurt for desert is not going to counteract all the ill effects of that low quality, fried burger smothered with mayo. No McDonalds , there is nothing special about your so called “special sauce.” We all know it spoiled mayo so let’s call a spade a spade! And as far as your salads, you even managed to screw up your vegetables.  Recent research claims that  McDonalds’  salads contain nearly a third more salt than a Big Mac and Fries. And once you add that disgusting mayo-based dressing, the overall calorie count

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Time for the Mayo Clinic to Change its Name !

I was checking out a global ranking of life expectancy and after realizing that people from developed Asian countries are clearly living longer, (Japan and Hong Kong are at the top of the list), it’s long overdue for some studies linking their lifestyle to their longevity. And by “lifestyle”, I am mostly referring to diet, of course. You gotta give props to eastern medicine which tends to be more “preventative” than its western counterpart. Another distinction, is their reliance on sea vegetation. But most important of all, Asians do not eat mayonnaise. I double-dog dare you to post even one item from a Japanese restaurant that is contaminated. So the connection is clear . Now it’s just a matter of waiting for some formal study making this link official. When that blessed day arrives, the Mayo Clinic will need to change their horribly ironic name. (wouldn’t it be great if they are the ones who end up doing the study!) Regardless, how can any health organization justify being named after something that is proven to be bad for you? Another reason

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