Canadian Debut

The Mayo Conspiracy will be making its Canadian debut at the Muskoka Independent Film Festival on August 29th. Showtime is 9:45 pm. The festival is located in the quaint resort village of Rosseau at the top of Muskoka, where it’s not uncommon for movie stars, hockey players or captains of industry to pass by you on the street unnoticed. Looking forward to getting our film in front of an Ontario audience and exposing the evil inner workings of the Mayonnaise Cartel to our northern neighbor.

Now that our film is playing festivals around the country, or make that around the world, the easiest way to follow our future destinations and showings is to like our facebook page.  We recently surpassed 1,000 fans but now our goal is to double that number and reach 2000! So consider forwarding around to friends and family as well!

California Premiere

Laurel official selection 2015The Mayo Conspiracy was named an official selection of The World’s Independent Film Festival, taking place in San Francisco from Sept 25th to Sept 27th. All films will be screened at The New People Cinema, a 143 seat theater which has hosted numerous festivals in the past. For those living in or around the Golden Gate city, we hope to see you out there! Within the next couple weeks, the festival will be finalizing the film schedules and we’ll post more specific information about our showing at that time.

Celebrate Mexico Independence from France (and their condiment)

stinko-de-mayo-cakeSince May 5th is just around the corner, we have some great recipes to help you celebrate the international holiday, Stinko de Mayo. Established in 1988 by national award-winning newspaper columnist , Charles Memminger, Stinko de Mayo has become a rallying cry for those of us practicing a mayonnaise-free lifestyle. (as seen in the feature film, The Mayo Conspiracy)  Although still not quite as popular as it’s sister holiday, Cinco de Mayo, which coincidentally, happens to fall on the same day, it’s not really necessary to choose between the two. You see, there are actually synergies between both holidays, so why not celebrate them together!  Think about it:


  • Cinco de Mayo– Celebrates a crucial battle in Mexico’s bid to rid the country of a well-armed French fleet at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.
  • Stinko de Mayo– Celebrates our independence from the most fat laden, calorie dense condiment that happens to originate from, you guessed it, France! More specifically, this questionable emulsion was concocted on May 5th, 1756, by the French Duke, Armand de Vignerot, during the Seven Years’ War, as a means to to celebrate the French capture of Port Mahon. (hence the term “Mahon-aisse”). 


Armand de Vignerot-mayonnaise

Typical meal for Armand de Vignerot


By the way, this French commander was a total pervert, frequently having lavish dinners in the nude, often followed by wild orgies. And remember, all of this occurred while his troops were dying on the battlefield during the Seven Years’ War!  The Duke was clearly an all-around really bad guy and worthy of our dishonor, every May 5th. While this holiday can be very festive, it is also our opportunity to remind the world of the true face and true colors of the person behind this terrifying white-ish yellow emulsion.


mayo pinata

Hitting the pinata on Stinko De Mayo


So while we strive to be mayo-free all year round, this Tuesday is the day to truly show off our culinary creativity by trying to eat some dishes that typically contain mayonnaise, but instead, replaces the white slime with something healthier. And keep in mind, we consider the avocado to be one of the top substitutes of mayo out there. (Hmmm, a fruit that is so prominent in Mexican cuisine.)  See how everything keeps coming full circle?! Anyway, is proud to provide you with a jump-start on some of those substitute mayo recipes. These will work especially well for your outdoor picnics after the kids finish beating up on that mayo pinata!



Rachael Ray’s “No-Mayo” Potato Salad

  • 2 1/2 pounds Idaho potatoes, cut into quarters lengthwise, then chopped into large chunks
  • 1/2 cup beef consomme or broth
  • 3 tablespoons capers
  • 1 red bell pepper, finely chopped
  • 2 stalks celery, finely chopped
  • 1/2 medium red onion, finely chopped
  • lemon, zested and juiced
  • 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
  • 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil (EVOO)
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Place the potatoes in a medium pot. Fill with cold water and bring to a boil. Add a liberal amount of salt and cook the potatoes until they are tender, about 12-15 minutes. Once the potatoes are tender, drain and return them to the warm pot to dry them out.

Add the beef consomme, capers, red bell pepper, celery, onion, lemon zest and juice, red wine vinegar and EVOO. Season with salt and pepper. This dish tastes great either warm or cold.

California Crab cakes (Mayo-free!)

(makes 8-10)
  • 12 oz fresh lump crab meat
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1/3 cup red onion (or shallot) minced
  • 1/4 cup green onion, chopped
  • 1 tsp. lime zest
  • 1 tsp. kosher salt
  • 3/4 tsp. paprika
  • 1/4 tsp. black pepper
  • 1/3 cup panko
  • 1/3 cup flour + 1/2 tsp. cayenne


In a large bowl, quickly beat eggs. Add all ingredients from red onion to panko, and mix thoroughly. Gently mix in crab meat, trying not to maintain large pieces. Cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes. In a shallow dish, mix flour and cayenne. Scoop about 1/4 to 1/3 cup of crab mixture into your hands, tightly shaping into a patty. Lightly dredge in flour mixture and set aside. Repeat.

To cook crab cakes, heat 1/8 to 1/4 inch of oil in a large pan. Gently place a few crab cakes at a time into the oil. Do not check doneness or flip over before 3-4 minutes or they may fall apart. Check, and flip when golden, browning the other side. Drain on paper towel and serve warm.


Happy eating,

Craig Horwitz

An Instrument of Torture


Still from “The Mayo Conspiracy” (click to enlarge)

One of the most disturbing events uncovered in the upcoming film, The Mayo Conspiracy, relates to a controversial technique utilized for “enhanced interrogations.” Known officially in secret circles as “Mayo-boarding”, this practice creates the sensation that one is literally drowning in the emulsion. No doubt it’s an extremely effective means of gathering intelligence. Who wouldn’t talk to avoid a mayonnaise bombardment. However, the bigger question is the legal one: Should mayoboarding be considered unconstitutional? Those folks born with a normal aversion to mayonnaise would certainly lean towards the “torture” interpretation, in which case, we should consider ourselves above such behavior. (especially in a democratic society) But then again, what if information is really really needed? What if national security is at risk? It’s a tough call. When it’s not a black and white issue, any good movie, like The Mayo Conspiracy, can really make you think. Very interested in hearing your opinions on mayoboarding so please, leave some comments!

Speaking of this monumental condimental conspiracy, we are currently in the process of entering into film festivals and the easiest way to get information about future dates and showtimes, would be to follow us on facebook or twitter.

Happy eating,

Craig Horwitz

Trailer for The Mayo Conspiracy

Hot off the presses, here is the first official trailer for The Mayo Conspiracy! Details about a sneak screening will be posted very soon.


I hope you enjoy the trailer and are getting excited about the first ever feature film about the nastiest of emulsions. Spread the word!

There’s Something About Hoagies

Super-sized Italian Hoagie

Super-sized Italian Hoagie

One could say that Jon Waxman was destined to become a Head Hoagie Honcho in the Philadelphia area, growing up within walking distance from what many experts believe to be the finest Hoagie joint in the Delaware Valley, the original Lee’s Hoagie House in the historic Mt. Airy section of the city. Self-described as “never being much of a brown-bagger,” a Lee’s Hoagie was always a stone’s throw away and thus, Waxman’s “go-to” sandwich for school lunches and field trips. (Rumor has it that the mere presence of a Lee’s Hoagie  could make the school cafeteria’s Salisbury Steak turn green with envy) Lee’s Hoagie House has since grown to a chain of 17 restaurants, winning several “Best of Philly” awards along the way. And guess who is now the proud owner of two of those 17 franchises…… Jon Waxman. But more on him in a bit.

First, for our non-Philly readers, let’s have a quick crash course on Hoagies 101.

It was made the official sandwich of Philadelphia back in 1992, on Wawa Hoagie Day, by the Mayor at that time, Ed Rendell. However it’s full history goes back to the turn of the 20th century.

Formal definition…. a sandwich made on a soft , long Italian roll, filled with cold cuts, reportedly derived from a term for Italian immigrants who worked at the Hog Island ship yards (a.k.a. hoggies) in the Delaware River during World War I, who packed such sandwiches for lunch.

There is no mention of mayo in any of the Hoagie’s original descriptions. Also, as the sandwich traveled beyond Philly borders, the term began to vary. If you hail from New York, think “Hero,” kickin it in New England or the Midwest, picture a “Grinder.” (which by the way, tends to be hot) You would order a “Bomber” if you get the munchies in Buffalo, Sub or Submarine if you live in Connecticut, (based on proximity to a famous shipbuilding yard) and finally, it you’re keeping it real out on the left coast, you might refer to this most meaty of all sandwiches as a “Torpedo.” Since each regional sandwich model consistently came from areas with large Italian immigrant populations, Italian seasoned oil made perfect sense to top things off. Now I can see a dark opening for mayonnaise onto subs since those can sometimes be improvised with FRENCH bread  but you would at least think the Italian roll would be safe from the slime-fest. Think not! Somewhere along the way, Big Mayo got their greedy fingers beneath the deli meat, muscling their way into equal billing with the oil during the order process.


Secret experiments with Ketchup and Mayo

Even prior to their move onto the hoagie, Big Mayo had a sordid history with Philly cuisine. You see, it secretly teamed up with ketchup back in the 50’s, creating something called a Corned Beef Special.  This insane “Thousand Island chemistry experiment gone bad,” was first introduced at the R & W deli in the Rittenhouse Square section of Philadelphia. The exact year was 1957 and up to that point, mustard was always the no-brainer for corned beef. But thanks to some clever marketing and a misleading name, this “special” got some legs. It quickly spread  to other major urban areas, proving to be  another avenue for Mayonnaise, the most “foreign” of  all condiments, to sneak its way into American culinary culture. It was a smart strategy as well for its partner in crime, Ketchup. You see, even though Ketchup and Mayo were rivals and did not like each other, both were acutely aware they could not compete directly with mustard as a solo act in a cold corned beef environment. And it really breaks my heart that my hometown of Philadelphia was responsible for the first ever soiling of a corned beef sandwich! (This complicated relationship between Mayo and Ketchup is explored much more deeply in the feature film, The Mayo Conspiracy.)

But getting back to the topic at hand, whether oil or mayonnaise can lay rightful claim to sacred hoagie territory, we first decided to let some local experts weigh in.  Philadelphia sports-radio talk show host and proud Italian American, Mike Missanelli, told, “It’s a VIOLATION to put mayo on an Italian hoagie!” And continuing with the sports-talk theme (since hoagies are consumed by the tens of thousands on Football Sundays in the Philly area), another sports-radio talk show host, Glen Macnow,  judged a “Hoagie Hunt Finals” back in 2009, sampling more than 50 stores and  exclaimed at the time “Mayo on an Italian hoagie is a sin!”  Mike Aruanno, VP of Primo Hoagie franchising, told us in a very confident manner “Our Italian hoagies are served with Olive Oil, not mayo, unless the customer specifically asks for it. The twist to this would be our stores in North Jersey. In New York and North Jersey many customers grew up with oil and vinegar, mostly a red wine vinegar.”

Chef Aaron McCargo, who hails from neighboring Camden, NJ and was winner of the fourth season of the Food Network’s reality television series, The Next Food Network Star, gave  an unexpected pro-mayo rebuttal:

Aaron McCarthy actually endorsing mayonnaise on a Philadelphia Hoagie

Aaron McCarthy actually endorsing mayonnaise on a Philadelphia Hoagie

“I wouldn’t put oil on a sandwich but I do get the concept of having the oil to go with the meats, cheeses, and fresh vegetables, as a practical way of eating a traditional hoagie. As for me, I believe having a thin layer of mayo brings the cheese and bread together in perfect harmony. This, to me, adds that chewy, stick to the roof of your mouth, great texture that oil just can’t do. Also, mayo, unlike oil, doesn’t drip on my clothes or leak through the bag while taking from one destination to another. Lets be real.  It’s really how you were bought up that makes a hoagie a true delightful experience to the individual . My Mom is and will always be an oil girl. On the other hand, my Dad likes that thin layer of mayo as I do. That’s my thought and that’s the way I roll with my hoagie, with hot peppers, oregano,black pepper, and yes, MAYO! Thanks for the opportunity to speak on, what I consider, to be the sandwich that’s been swept under the rug because of the cheesesteak! ”


So with that unexpected fueling of this great condimental divide, we now turn to Jon Waxman, the owner of Lee’s Abington and Lee’s Horsham, for the final say. Clearly the most educated on this topic, not only does Waxman make a great hoagie, he has lived the hard-core Hoagie lifestyle since childhood. Therefore, he was not afraid to jump right into all the hot-button hoagie issues while sitting down to speak with us at

Jon Waxman

Jon Waxman- Owner of Lee’s Hoagie House


How long have you been serving Hoagies to your constituents in the Philadelphia suburbs?

Since 1990

Wow you must have served a gazillion hoagies over the course of 24 years. So let’s get right down to it. The choice of sandwich dressing is important. Since Lee’s is a “pro-choice” sandwich op, meaning you automatically ask for perfectly seasoned OIL or slimy MAYO at the end of each order, your sample size is significant. From a democratic point of view, who wins?

Oil definitely wins, but not as much as you think.

Ever get any crazy requests for a third option?

Believe it or not, tomato sauce…blows my mind but it does happen

And in your opinion, the appropriate hoagie moisturizer is?????

Oh without a doubt, oil!

Hallelujah! Can hoagie leftovers spoil more quickly when mayo is introduced?

Well, the general rule for both the lunch meat and the mayo is to never let it sit at room temperature for more than four hours. So if you are not able to finish a hoagie in one sitting, make sure you get it in the fridge right away.

On a lighter and healthier note, is Turkey catching up to Italian in hoagie popularity?

Italian always was and always will be first. Turkey is in second place for sure but Turkey will never catch up. Remember, Italian is the original.

In my opinion, the upper topping of onions and seasonings solidifies that awesome aroma of a true Philly style hoagie, which you can pick up on the second you open the door. Some people actually ask for no onions. Is that in essence taking out the soul of the Hoagie? Should we really even allow such an out??

We have to as a good 30% do not get the onion but you are right in that it is a key component for that distinctive smell of a hoagie. The minute you unwrap, the onions carry the aroma really far

What makes a great hoagie?

Fresh produce, good quality meat but the roll is most important.

Why is that?

Being the biggest component, a good roll completes the sandwich

So what make a good roll?

Crispy on outside, soft on the inside.

Since you also serve another Philadelphia Phavorite, cheesesteaks, please clarify something for our mayo-hating readers. I’ve heard stories about people requesting mayo on a steak sandwich? Fortunately, I never actually witnessed such a gruesome debacle and I am still hoping these horror tales can be chalked off to some sort of urban legend, like the one where people get abducted, and placed in a bathtub, only to have their healthy kidneys surgically removed for the black market. Apparently, this was originally made up to scare off tourists in New Orleans, but I can totally see how a “mayo steak” would do the same for those entering into Philadelphia’s city limits

On a cheesesteak…….. believe it or not, it actually happens and much more than you think! I don’t get it. In the beginning I was like really, are you sure?? Now, I’ve been around the block long enough to be used to it.

Horrifying and definitely not the image of Philadelphia we want to represent. By the way, I believe fear of a dry sandwich is the main reason why people get tempted by the evil, gooey mayo.(even though there are safer mayo substitutes now that can help) But in this scenario, the melted cheese and steak juices should take the dryness concern completely out of the equation, no?

Absolutely!  Our cheesesteaks are never dry. Only reason I can think of is some inherent desire to clog your arteries.

Any celebrities ever come into your store?

Bradley Cooper entering Lee's Hoagie House

Bradley Cooper in his favorite Philly hoagie restaurant

Absolutely. Bradley Cooper, who hails from neighboring Jenkintown, comes in yearly. He always orders a tray for a family gathering. Former Philadelphia Eagle and New Jersey Congressman, John Runyan  was just in here a couple weeks ago. We even named a sandwich after him. And staying on a football theme, Eagles play-by-play announcer, Merrill Reese  eats in our restaurant as well.


So Lee’s  Hoagie House is currently holding a cool contest called “I Ate the Whole Thing” where if you completely finish one of their super-sized Hoagies or Steak Sandwiches, you get your picture posted on their Wall of Fame. Even better, you are automatically qualified for their Hoagie Bowl to win a BIG Screen TV! Usually tempting those with the biggest of appetites, the contest boasts a “90% successful completion rate” from Lee’s sandwich-loving clientele. (and fortunately, there is no Hall of Shame for the 10% who throw in the white towel) Well, I have some advice for all future applicants. To avoid getting egg on your face, first rule of “I Ate the Whole Thing” is Hold That Mayo. Second rule of “I Ate the Whole Thing” (or for that matter, any competitive eating contest) Hold That Mayo!

So now it’s time for our readers to weigh in .  Oil or Mayonnaise? We’d love to hear from you!

Happy eating,

Craig Horwitz


The Mayo Mountains of Chile


According to a report in The Lancet, one of the  oldest and most prestigious medical journals, cardiovascular disease is a major health problem in Chile.  It represents the leading cause of death among adults in that country. Combine this with the fact that  Chile’s mayo consumption is 3rd per capita in the world, and it’s clear that The Lancet is jumping on the anti-mayo bandwagon. Check out The Daily Show’s entertaining report about Chileans’ obsession with the White Poison. It is really a serious problem down there. However if they trade in their slimy condiment addiction with some red wine, they can turn their heart health around.


Why Big Mayo is so threatened by Health Care Reform

obamacareWith a looming government shutdown, merely over a certain party’s concern about affordable healthcare for everyone, it’s time to really examine who is pulling the strings . You see, it goes a bit deeper than the Republican party.

Yes, it was named the Affordable Care Act to make health insurance more “affordable” for consumers. However it also makes it more affordable from the provider end as well. The financial consequences of having a large uninsured class is that we are forced to treat people in Emergency Rooms, which is exponentially more expensive than a doctor’s office. Also, the media needs to start focusing more on the multiple provisions in the law related to “preventative care.” This will help stave off future illness and cost. (more on that a bit later) Therefore, it’s not really logical for Republicans, the so-called party of “budget hawks” to oppose such a cost-saving initiative. (especially with health care costs rising at unsustainable rates)

Republicans are also complaining that Health Care Reform is a full government takeover but that is not true. The public option was defeated during the initial debate so health insurance will continue in the private market. It will not be run by the government However, there is a government mandate to purchase health insurance as that is the only way such a system works in theory. Republicans complain that is a violation of our basic freedom but there is hypocrisy in the fact they have no issue with Americans being mandated to purchase car insurance. What is the difference? Again, it is the concept of a mandate that helps keep costs down. Without a health insurance mandate, guess who is footing the bills for all of the expensive medical care given to the uninsured in emergency rooms throughout the county…. Yup, insured Americans! And guess what: This is the same exact mandate that has been extremely successful in Massachusetts, since it was introduced by Governor Romney, the candidate who ran against Obamacare as a main talking point in the last presidential election. It’s also the  same exact mandate supported by prominent Republicans back  in the 90’s including President George H.W. Bush and Bob Dole! The more you dig, the more you see this is not a traditional Republican issue.

Let’s move onto their next beef with the Affordable Care Act. Conservatives claim it opens the door to socialism, even though we already have programs like Social Security and Medicare in the United States. So where are they drawing the line? It just does not add up?

Now, let’s get back to the “preventative” angle as that is the main reason why Republicans Big Mayo is so threatened by this law. They’re worried about it cutting into their 100 billion dollar per year industry.  And adding fuel to the fire, the person this reform is named after, President Obama, is on record for hating their white goo.  You see, this is all about transparency.  As more people get into the health care system, the word gets out that mayonnaise is by far the most calorie dense, fat-laden condiment out there. And though the majority of medical professionals, let alone common sense, dictate against spooning out raw eggs onto your afternoon sandwich, the most toxic part of mayo is something else: the processed, refined soybean oil. This contains an excess of omega 6 fatty acids which dangerously unbalances your omega 6 to omega 3 ratio as well as contributing to internal inflammation. And it’s not just about becoming more nutritionally informed at your doctor’s office. A little-noticed Obamacare provision is the Labeling law, which will have a huge impact on the fight against obesity. (and thus mayo) Restaurant menus and drive thru’s will be forced to become more transparent about calories and the public will see firsthand, soiling a perfectly healthy sandwich with mayo will officially cross the line into unhealthy territory. Let’s face it, as soon as you start having any conversations about preventative health , you open the door for scrutinizing our diet. That is the main reason why I support Health Care reform and the main reason why the Mayo Lobby is so threatened by it…. Enough to use their money and muscle to start pulling the strings of key Republicans. Think about it, their all white, food additive must have been an easy sale to the party of absolutely no diversity.


If the government shuts down this Tuesday it will be officially on the same day the new Insurance Exchanges open for business. Coincidence? I think not!


Happy eating,


Craig Horwitz

Mayo in Top 100 Most Unhealthy Food!


More ammunition in our war against mayo, thanks to . The condiment from hell made their top 100 list of Most Unhealthy Food in the American Diet. I would like to have seen it placed a bit higher than 52 but still happy about the negative publicity. And it’s a double dose of negative press because tartar sauce,(infected with substantial amounts of mayonnaise) got placed at 56 as well! Of course, all of us fighting this battle have hated mayo instinctively at a very young age, based on taste, smell and consistency. When you are 5 years old, you are not conscious of any health factors like cholesterol and fat levels. But that doesn’t mean we should avoid using this angle to convert more people away from the devil’s spew. This is all out Sandwich War so let’s use any means at our disposal. If anyone is brainwashed enough to feel like raw eggs on a sandwich is normal behavior, we can try scaring them away with tales of artery clogging and weight gain.

Happy eating,

Craig Horwitz

Food Revolution Day

May 19th is being dubbed Food Revolution Day and the health conscious genius behind this endeavor would be Jamie Oliver, star of The Naked Chef, Jamie’s Kitchen, Jamie’s School Dinners and the Emmy award winning, Jamie’s Food Revolution. Believe it or not, food related diseases like obesity and diabetes kill more people than drugs, alcohol and war combined! This video is really a wake up call for taking control of our health, a problem that has no geographical boundaries. Since 1980, worldwide obesity has more than doubled in adults and tripled in children! It’s certainly not a problem that can be fixed overnight but the education and inspiration that will circulate from Food Revolution Day is definitely the right start. At HoldThatMayo headquarters, we fully support this grass-roots campaign cause we are all about helping people make smarter food choices. (and “smart food choices” would never include the empty calories, lurking within a jar of slimy mayo) Massive props to the Jamie Oliver Foundation for making the world a better place to eat on May 19th!

Check out his video and then learn more about Food Revolution Day! You can enter your zip code to find the events closest to home. They have more than 500 cities in 57 countries around the world standing up for real food!

Happy eating,

Craig Horwitz